Kenneth "Wing(sters)" Hodas
November 12, 1959 to June 11, 2008
The above picture was taken by Joysters upon Wings request to have a good picture of him to put up on a dating website as he was finally ready to meet someone to share his life with.
ABOUT WING
(a story told by Joysters)
ABOUT WING
(a story told by Joysters)
Kenneth Hodas also known as "Wing" which he used as his name up until his death on June 11, 2008. Wing was/is an interesting character. Met Wing through our Spiritual Teacher, Wayne "Wayneji" Austin. Wing had been facing some major challenges in his life, had gone through a rigorous bout of Cancer and beat it, but had been living alone on a 100 acre Ranch he called "Wingspread" and was at an all time low when a friend of his gave him Wayneji's number.
He began meeting with Wayneji every Tuesday and he would call it his Tuesday with Morrie, after the book which was still popular at the time "Tuesdays with Morrie." The formed a stronger and stronger bond ... Wingsters cut his dreads, didn't go to his usual winter retreat on an island (a funny named island one that cannot be recalled at this time but which he had many stories ... one of climbing trees to get food and it always sounded like he lived in a little hut on this tiny one man island but it was not so ... he just could tell a funny tale) instead he spent the winter with Wayneji and went from being completely computer inept to purchasing an Acer (microsoft no less after being a Mac man) and ordering Internet service and finally joining as a member of the EOTS (End of the Search) Family through Yahoo Groups (an Group Moderated by Wayne that had a select group of people that Gathered around Wayneji).
It took some time for him to beome comfortable enough to share himself but slow he did ...
Clip of an email he sent in ...
He began meeting with Wayneji every Tuesday and he would call it his Tuesday with Morrie, after the book which was still popular at the time "Tuesdays with Morrie." The formed a stronger and stronger bond ... Wingsters cut his dreads, didn't go to his usual winter retreat on an island (a funny named island one that cannot be recalled at this time but which he had many stories ... one of climbing trees to get food and it always sounded like he lived in a little hut on this tiny one man island but it was not so ... he just could tell a funny tale) instead he spent the winter with Wayneji and went from being completely computer inept to purchasing an Acer (microsoft no less after being a Mac man) and ordering Internet service and finally joining as a member of the EOTS (End of the Search) Family through Yahoo Groups (an Group Moderated by Wayne that had a select group of people that Gathered around Wayneji).
It took some time for him to beome comfortable enough to share himself but slow he did ...
Clip of an email he sent in ...
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2007/10/6, wing hodas <[email protected]>:
family, i want to thank each and every one of you for your loving thoughts and the support you send my way. we have only known each other for a relatively short time but that sure does not mean it has not been intense. |
Wing was not one to brag or to complain (too much) ... he would love to give and was advised by Wayneji to stop giving so much to outside Charities and to begin to look around him and see what people in his local vicinity could use ... that there were actually people right under his nose in need and when his eyes became open to this ... Wingsters begin to give in ways that brought people from all walks of life together. One day he stopped by and brought some Cedar Clippings from MU (the home of Wayneji and Kayemomma) for me (he had done this for everyone as well even family overseas) and he told me to put them on the wood burning stove and they would make the house smell nicely. But as usual I didn't listen and got out a frame and glued them into it. The next time he came by he was like "what" that is ridiculous but it is now one of my fond memories of our time together (which were many)...
There were doctor visits that he paid for ... for friends like gift certificates to chiropractors and massage therapists and he did what he could for anyone that he thought could use some extra in their life. He did odd jobs for people and many things that no one will ever know about ... but if you know him you know that he touched and changed lives.
The next couple of years were spent mostly with the Family. We shared Birthdays together and Holdidays ... we got together at MU on Wednesdays and would have Supper together and have a Movie Night and Wingsters was known to make the best Popcorn. He became an integral part of the Family.
The next couple of years were spent mostly with the Family. We shared Birthdays together and Holdidays ... we got together at MU on Wednesdays and would have Supper together and have a Movie Night and Wingsters was known to make the best Popcorn. He became an integral part of the Family.
Tuedays with Morrie
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November Birthday Supper (Left to Right Front to Front) Joysters, Kayemomma, Wayneji, SusieQ, Tman, Danweale, Wingsters)
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Christmas 2006
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Tman showing of his new "T-man" sweatshirt to The EOTS Family that was tuned in on Webcam. Christmas 2006.
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Opening Gifts.
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Opening Gifts.
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Wayneji and Wingsters.
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Wayneji and Wingsters (the little boy).
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Easter 2007 (Tman, SusiQ, Joysters, Kayemomma, Danweale, Wayneji and Wingsters)
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Christmas 2007 (Joysters and Wingsters). The Wood Bears you see next to Wing he hand carved for Wayneji and Kayemomma for Christmas.
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Christmas 2007.
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Wayneji and Wing (Christmas 2007 at MU).
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On Christmas 2007 we made a Tradition to walk up French Creek and place a Red Christmas Ball on an old Dead Oak (which has been removed now). Wingsters hung the Ball that year...
Walking up French Creek to hang the ball.
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Locating the Tree.
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Susan and Wing hang the Ball.
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Wing and Tman admire it.
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Wayneji and Wing.
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Kayemomma obviously getting in big trouble (as usual :o) as Wingsters watches in fear, yet glad its not him. :o)
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Christmas Supper 2007.
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Christmas Wing.
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Our times together weren't all fun and games ... we did spent quite a bit of time putting together a Gate at the entrance of MU. This was pretty intensive labor for all of us but when it was finished we had something that was going to last a very long time ... not just a Gate but the comraderie of one another and the memory of that time shared.
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The one that is missing from this project in Picture only is our Teacher Wayneji ... whose work has been to bring people of all walks of life ... that might not ever have given the other even a second glance and made them Family. Gave the projects that brought them closer together. Gave them holidays to spend together and intervened quite often to make sure they would all continue to get along. I would not have ever known Wingsters if it wasn't for our Teacher and for this I would say, both Wing and I are forever in Gratitude.
ON DANCE ...
Wingsters had a Love of Dance ... he would go to Mardi Gras every year and had a special costume made of of this stringy like cloth and when he danced looked like a white ghost. You will see in the video he made with his friend David as well as the pictures below.
Every once in awhile he would hold a party at his place and people would come from all over the area and in this custom Dance hall he had in home ... Winspread ... for this event he had his friends from Louisiana come out and cook all kinds of Cajun food and it was a pretty amazing night. The following is an email about one of his friends that came out "Duke" ...
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On Oct 12, 2007, at 7:28 AM, wing hodas <[email protected]> wrote: thanks for the inspiration this morning. went downstairs after qt and danced for about 20 minutes with my friend before his leaving. we had talked about having a dance last nite but movie time took over. i have known this man for probably 17 years now. we met in new orleans at jazzfest. he works at dizzyworld in florida. if you ever get there let me know. have you heard the song "extraordinary" by mandy moore? very sweet, and a nice musical arrangement. short too, like in the old days. no inna gadda davida here. enjoy your day today and have fun with shane manana. |
Left to Right ... Wing, Wayneji and Duke at a Dance at Wingspread
Wing in his White Suit Wecoming a guest.
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Duke playing the drums.
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Cajun cooking in the kitchen.
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Getting the party started in the Dance Hall.
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Had my first ever Dance with Wingsters in his Dance Hall and it was an amazing event. Our bodies became totally in synch with one another and there was no thought to how movement would occur and it was a Joyous event!!! We were twirling and moving and laughing and it was a moment in time that will not be forgotten by this one.
COUNTRY MUSIC FROM THE COUNTRY OF AFRICA!!!
Wing also held another Dance on February 9, 2008 (my physical birthday) in Fort Jones and called it "Country music from the Country of Africa" and sent out fliers throughout Siskiyou County (with some help from his friends). Many showed up ... some from great distances. No one at the time knew besides Wayneji and Kayemomma that Wingsters had a relapse of the Cancer and so this was also his Living Funeral (though it wasn't until he shared he was sick that he shared that this Dance was that).
COUNTRY MUSIC FROM THE COUNTRY OF AFRICA!!!
Wing also held another Dance on February 9, 2008 (my physical birthday) in Fort Jones and called it "Country music from the Country of Africa" and sent out fliers throughout Siskiyou County (with some help from his friends). Many showed up ... some from great distances. No one at the time knew besides Wayneji and Kayemomma that Wingsters had a relapse of the Cancer and so this was also his Living Funeral (though it wasn't until he shared he was sick that he shared that this Dance was that).
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VIDEO: Wingsters and Dot Dance.
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Wayneji and Kayemomma Dance.
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It was an amazing night for all who showed up and Wingsters had a blast. Thank you myBrother.
Wingspread
Wingspread (named after it's owner) is a 100+ Acre Ranch with a barn that Wingsters restored and upgraded. He pretty much ran the place by himself and the help of his neighbor Lloyd. He welcomed us to all come there and spend time. When he would go away he would have Susan come and stay on the property. If you look at it from Google Earth ... it isn' the shape of a guitar. It has an upper and a lower pond which took a great deal to maintain. He planted 3000 trees ... most of which died to replace the trees that had been clear cut to make the Ranch long before he came along. He spent his days watering and gardening and listening to music and dancing.
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LITTLE MU (LMU)
Shortly after Wingsters found out that the Cancer had returned and that the prognosis was not good. Talks began of him buying a piece of property up the road from Wayneji and Kayemomma and MU so that he could be closer to them as his sickness progressed (Wingspread was about an hour from MU). He did purchase the land and then spent the next 6 or 7 months clearing trees, laying foundation and picking out the house that he was going to place on the land. He died before it was complete. But he had quite a hand in its creation. It is currently for sale on Zillow.
David
(Photo of Wing and Dave in the 80s)
Not long before Wingsters found out he was sick one of his closest friends in the world and dancing partner, David committed suicide. Wing was the one to go and clean up the body. It was not an easy task and was a heartbreaking time for him. When he became sick himself and realized that the end could possibly be very painful ... he began looking at ways to end his life without inflicting so much responsibility on the ones left behind.
Wings wrote a post in response to a question I had written to him regarding his illness and interest in the option of Suicide ...
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--- wing hodas <[email protected]> wrote:
joy, it was basically an imformation gathering session.. for both sides. i formally met with, although i have seen her before, the nurse practioner who will be responsible for my care since my doctor will be on sabbattical during my illness. we discussed possible medications and courses of appropriate action and caregiving during these next months. oregon has assisted suicide whereas ca. does not. of course, like everyone else they are probably trying to figure out why i might choose the course i have chosen (at least so far) since it is not the typical wanta live at all costs choice. they do understand that i have always marched to the beat of a different drum (so to speak) and are definitely with me on the journey in terms of being as supportive as possible. i think they have the big picture somewhat in focus, basically that i am just proceeding with this one day at a time. death is a distinct possibility but now that possibility is only closer to home than normally perceived. my life is blessed, always has been, always will be. and i am so fortunate to have our beloved teacher/friend with me at every step. |
Wingsters ended his life at Wingspread on June 11, 2008, with the assistance of helium or nitrogen sometimes called a suicide bag. In a sense ... he left this world laughing.
In the short time that I knew Wing I learned so much about giving, receiving, trusting, life, death and amazingly this continues on and on years after his passing. Most of the things that have been revealed over time about Wing's life have been the result of his death. Thank you myTeacher for bringing this unique individual into my life and thank you Wing Hodas for sharing yours with me. Namaste. ~Joysters
Excerpt...
The following is an excerpt from the the book "On The Way To Doe Bay," which was the inspiration for creating this tribute page of Wing Hodas' Life.
This is the history of my (Joysters) relationship with Wing (whom was as called Wingsters being named that by Kayemomma). Wing is actually the first taste I'd experienced of Love from the Inside … we had a very odd relationship. The first time I met him was at Yreka’s Music in the Park night that they have every Friday in the Summer. He was extravagant with his long dreadlocks and he danced to the music the whole night. Found him a bit overwhelming. But then he fell in Love with Wayneji (our Shared Spiritual Teacher) and he shaved all his hair off and looked “normal” and was much easier to be around. Over the years he opened up and shared his poetry, his feelings, his insights and openly shared his Love for Wayneji.
There were times there would be jealousy because he was gifted so much time with Wayneji and didn’t like that I would feel this way. Wingsters gave me the video project for “Extravadance” which I looked for recently on Youtube but could not find it. That took forever to put together and eventually was taken from VCR tape and uploaded to Youtube. Was so happy to finally have gotten that finished for him. We had our quiet moments together … like when I went to Wingspread the name of his property and gave him a foot massage … this was before he got sick. Time is evasive and hard to bring up memories. He worked so hard at MU (Wayneji and Kayemomma’s Home and Home to all that Gather around them) all of us worked together to make the Gate appear, but Wing also fixed the wood that was falling apart around the cedar…he was always doing odd jobs at MU. He was such a little kid, but he was super smart too. It would always surprise me how smart he actually was because he would seem so dumb at times.
He would have done anything for Wayneji and Kayemomma and it was so obviously returned in how they cared for him during his last days. The months of Basketball games they all watched together, and the trips to the doctors and being there through so much of his pain and inability to just about walk anymore.
Wasn’t there physically for most of it. Wayneji and Kayemomma kept him close and we all saw each other every morning during Quiet Time through the webcams and then would converse through emails. He always looked like a cared for little boy.
After he died, it took a toll on the Family. Many members, long term, left. When I went to clean Wingspread … it was such a treat. His place is so beautiful and you could feel him everywhere … this is where “from the Inside” began but did not realize it until just now. First the cleaning started (and I hate to clean) but it felt like cleaning for Susi and Uma (two Students of Wayneji at the time). Was so certain they would live there that all the cleaning was done with them in mind. There was no fear being in his home, even though he died there. Loved it there and didn’t want to leave most days and yet it was so huge and there was so much to care for. This is where the “Inside” shows up … it was as if he would guide me around the place showing me things to do … it only didn’t work when I was tired and stubborn, but when receptive … there was this energy that would draw me to things … it actually started through Yahoo Messenger … after he died I would get text messages from his account that would say weird things but for the longest time I didn’t say anything to anyone about it … because it always made me so happy when I got them. Then I did share it and was told to delete him from my account. But didn’t. And they kept coming. So then when I was at his place it didn’t seem so strange to have this same energy appear. It would pretty much show me if I would do something wrong (which was annoying) and if I fucked something up … there were consequences … not bad things but things would just take much, much longer than if I had just followed what was being directed to do … like stay when I watered a tree (the energy was to stay) … if I walked away a line would break or more water than normal would come out and it would flood or no water at all would come out and then when I got back would have to stand there and water until the tree was done. Little things like this but things that began to shift the way I was in the world, the way it was experienced became more alive and unknown. Who was Directing this … if Wingsters is Dead and he wasn’t his body … who was he?
When Susi and Uma said they were not going to move to Wingspread … I literally jumped up and down for the opportunity and Wayneji was not exactly happy with my behavior. Eventually though he did allow for Dan, Tyler and I to live there and since they were gone so much (7am to about 7pm) that I practically lived on the 100 acre Ranch alone.
It was not easy … killed most of the fish in the pond which was emotionally devastating … at least 50 to 100 of them died on my watch, because there was carelessness and didn’t pay enough attention to how I was filling the lower pond from the upper pond. Those are the kind of lessons that you don’t ever forget. Became afraid of touching things cause I might ruin them. Over time it became more comfortable but it was quite a bit of work and when we were offered the opportunity to go live at MU, I was thrilled to have a break from Wingspread. Also alcohol was becoming more and more of a problem at that time.
Wingspread is Wingsters … if you want to know what kind of man he is you could tell just by walking the property … how he cared for his Garden … for the wood that re-built the barn turned Home … The lakes … the nearly 3000 trees he planted and watched all but something like 100 die. The little things like the maze behind the house it is called something a Labyrinth no it is called something else but he made one and it was awesome … walked it quite a few times. But it is all him … leaving the Wool Socks and all kinds of goodies and treasures around the house and so many hand made hats and clothing…really nice stuff, quality. He showed me how to appreciate things and to make them last.
It was so quiet there and sometimes I would go in his dance studio and blast his big ass speakers to some of the music he had and just dance and dance and dance in front of all the mirrors. He left just the right amount of everything … as if he knew what every one who lived there would need. The amazing king size bed and all the first aid supplies which were need quite often. If I need a blowdryer … it was there … if I need a squeegee it would appear. It would be so strange because none of these things would be notice and then when they were needed they just sort of appear. One would look in a cupboard and what was needed was there. If you look at Wingspread from Google Earth it is in the shape of a guitar. (((Wingsters))) … a very giving and good, good man.
This is the history of my (Joysters) relationship with Wing (whom was as called Wingsters being named that by Kayemomma). Wing is actually the first taste I'd experienced of Love from the Inside … we had a very odd relationship. The first time I met him was at Yreka’s Music in the Park night that they have every Friday in the Summer. He was extravagant with his long dreadlocks and he danced to the music the whole night. Found him a bit overwhelming. But then he fell in Love with Wayneji (our Shared Spiritual Teacher) and he shaved all his hair off and looked “normal” and was much easier to be around. Over the years he opened up and shared his poetry, his feelings, his insights and openly shared his Love for Wayneji.
There were times there would be jealousy because he was gifted so much time with Wayneji and didn’t like that I would feel this way. Wingsters gave me the video project for “Extravadance” which I looked for recently on Youtube but could not find it. That took forever to put together and eventually was taken from VCR tape and uploaded to Youtube. Was so happy to finally have gotten that finished for him. We had our quiet moments together … like when I went to Wingspread the name of his property and gave him a foot massage … this was before he got sick. Time is evasive and hard to bring up memories. He worked so hard at MU (Wayneji and Kayemomma’s Home and Home to all that Gather around them) all of us worked together to make the Gate appear, but Wing also fixed the wood that was falling apart around the cedar…he was always doing odd jobs at MU. He was such a little kid, but he was super smart too. It would always surprise me how smart he actually was because he would seem so dumb at times.
He would have done anything for Wayneji and Kayemomma and it was so obviously returned in how they cared for him during his last days. The months of Basketball games they all watched together, and the trips to the doctors and being there through so much of his pain and inability to just about walk anymore.
Wasn’t there physically for most of it. Wayneji and Kayemomma kept him close and we all saw each other every morning during Quiet Time through the webcams and then would converse through emails. He always looked like a cared for little boy.
After he died, it took a toll on the Family. Many members, long term, left. When I went to clean Wingspread … it was such a treat. His place is so beautiful and you could feel him everywhere … this is where “from the Inside” began but did not realize it until just now. First the cleaning started (and I hate to clean) but it felt like cleaning for Susi and Uma (two Students of Wayneji at the time). Was so certain they would live there that all the cleaning was done with them in mind. There was no fear being in his home, even though he died there. Loved it there and didn’t want to leave most days and yet it was so huge and there was so much to care for. This is where the “Inside” shows up … it was as if he would guide me around the place showing me things to do … it only didn’t work when I was tired and stubborn, but when receptive … there was this energy that would draw me to things … it actually started through Yahoo Messenger … after he died I would get text messages from his account that would say weird things but for the longest time I didn’t say anything to anyone about it … because it always made me so happy when I got them. Then I did share it and was told to delete him from my account. But didn’t. And they kept coming. So then when I was at his place it didn’t seem so strange to have this same energy appear. It would pretty much show me if I would do something wrong (which was annoying) and if I fucked something up … there were consequences … not bad things but things would just take much, much longer than if I had just followed what was being directed to do … like stay when I watered a tree (the energy was to stay) … if I walked away a line would break or more water than normal would come out and it would flood or no water at all would come out and then when I got back would have to stand there and water until the tree was done. Little things like this but things that began to shift the way I was in the world, the way it was experienced became more alive and unknown. Who was Directing this … if Wingsters is Dead and he wasn’t his body … who was he?
When Susi and Uma said they were not going to move to Wingspread … I literally jumped up and down for the opportunity and Wayneji was not exactly happy with my behavior. Eventually though he did allow for Dan, Tyler and I to live there and since they were gone so much (7am to about 7pm) that I practically lived on the 100 acre Ranch alone.
It was not easy … killed most of the fish in the pond which was emotionally devastating … at least 50 to 100 of them died on my watch, because there was carelessness and didn’t pay enough attention to how I was filling the lower pond from the upper pond. Those are the kind of lessons that you don’t ever forget. Became afraid of touching things cause I might ruin them. Over time it became more comfortable but it was quite a bit of work and when we were offered the opportunity to go live at MU, I was thrilled to have a break from Wingspread. Also alcohol was becoming more and more of a problem at that time.
Wingspread is Wingsters … if you want to know what kind of man he is you could tell just by walking the property … how he cared for his Garden … for the wood that re-built the barn turned Home … The lakes … the nearly 3000 trees he planted and watched all but something like 100 die. The little things like the maze behind the house it is called something a Labyrinth no it is called something else but he made one and it was awesome … walked it quite a few times. But it is all him … leaving the Wool Socks and all kinds of goodies and treasures around the house and so many hand made hats and clothing…really nice stuff, quality. He showed me how to appreciate things and to make them last.
It was so quiet there and sometimes I would go in his dance studio and blast his big ass speakers to some of the music he had and just dance and dance and dance in front of all the mirrors. He left just the right amount of everything … as if he knew what every one who lived there would need. The amazing king size bed and all the first aid supplies which were need quite often. If I need a blowdryer … it was there … if I need a squeegee it would appear. It would be so strange because none of these things would be notice and then when they were needed they just sort of appear. One would look in a cupboard and what was needed was there. If you look at Wingspread from Google Earth it is in the shape of a guitar. (((Wingsters))) … a very giving and good, good man.
Mardi Gras!!!
Namaste.
