Begin to ask "to whom do these thoughts come?" Really allow the possibility that you don't know who they come to. Allow for the possibility that you don't know who you are. As you do this, as it becomes more frequent and natural, when the big things in life hit you, you will begin to rely on the STILLNESS that you are IN, as opposed to the "noise" that is going on outside of you. As that happens, you become the calm in the center of the storm appearing around you. It is not because you are trying to do anything or control anything, it is because of where the attention IS.